Please do not impersonate the actor’s representation of the below character in the film or television version.
Written By Richard Linklater & Kim Krizan
Alright, I have an admittedly insane idea, but if I don’t ask you this, it’s just, uh, you know, it’s going to haunt me the rest of my life. I want to keep talking to you, y’know. I have no idea what your situation is, but, uh, but I feel like we have some kind of, uh, connection. Right? Yeah, right, well, great. So listen, so here’s the deal. This is what we should do. You should get off the train with me here in Vienna, and come check out the town. Come on. It’ll be fun. Come on. All I know is I have to catch an Austrian Airlines flight tomorrow morning at 9:30, and I don’t really have enough money for a hotel, so I was just going to walk around, and it would be a lot more fun if you came with me. And if I turn out to be some kind of psycho, you know, you just get on the next train. Alright, alright. Think of it like this. Um, uh, jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you’re married. Only your marriage doesn’t have that same energy that it used to have, y’know. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you’ve met in your life, and what might have happened if you’d picked up with one of them, right? Well, I’m one of those guys. That’s me, y’know, so think of this as time travel, from then to now, uh, to find out what you’re missing out on. See, what this really could be is a gigantic favour to both you and your future husband, to find out that you’re not missing out on anything. I’m just as big a loser as he is, totally unmotivated, totally boring, and, uh, you made the right choice, and you’re really happy.